Starting soon, a series of articles and posts will come out discussing different types of relationships here on my blog. I thought it might be fun to explore this often overlooked part of our relationships. So many people begin and start relationships - but do you know about the different types? Or did you just start in your relationship, assuming that you knew what you were getting into? How do you know you and your partner are on the same page? I have had lots of people come in to me for therapy because they were not on the same page as their partner, and it came to a head when the different in relationship types were exposed - usually in a dramatic flourish and with fanfare.
Have you sat down with your significant other or partner and intentionally decided that monogamy is the best option for your relationship? If you haven't - how do you know that you both are on the same page?
I have been doing some research and speaking with colleagues about their experiences with polyamorous or open relationships, and it got me thinking... When my wife and I first got together, we never talked about having more than one partner. We also never talked about desires to have multiple partners - or our thoughts and beliefs around having more than one intimate or romantic partner. We kind of 'took for granted' that we both knew what the other thought, and we both had the same views. This true? Until recently, we only had our internal beliefs based on assumptions to answer this question. So, like any good, OVERTHINKING sex and relationship therapist, I sat down to have a conversation with my wife about Intentional Monogamy. I no longer wanted to make assumptions about our relationship, and I wanted us BOTH to be on the same side... Turns out, we were (fortunately).
We both thought about it for a while, and decided we are intentionally monogamous. It is simply not part of our identity to be non-monogamous.
Intentionally Monogamous, as a relationship type, can be defined as the conscious decision (reached through introspection and communication with your partner) that the romantic relationship you are both involved in is the only one in which you will engage. There will be no additional partners, emotionally, financially, spiritually, romantically, sexually, or psychologically. Each person only has ONE partner, and that partner is YOU! (or the other person :-P)
This is all part of an exciting new series on relationship types - which will culminate in some helpful ideas on how to determine your own relationship identity and have the conversation with your partner(s) so you are all on the same page.
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